Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Behind the eight ball

I had a dream…a goal really. I wanted to publish a story every 6 months. That’s not too ambitious…right? I mean…what could go wrong? I have stories that I’ve finished and I just needed to give them one last look through/critique and then I would publish them and that…would be that.

God I’m delusional!

I am still critiquing the first few chapters of my next book and my dealine was MARCH! Do you know what month we are in now?

MAY!

Where is the time going? Seriously…who took it?

Deep breath…deeeeeeepppppp breath.

So I’m trying to crack the whip on myself, get motivated to do what I need to do. But’s it hard…no lie about that. I get distracted or stressed or just…lazy. I lose sight of my dream and go off on a tangent.

And I just want to say…it’s okay to do that.

Sometimes you need to get lost in order to find the way that’s going to work for you and there is no shame in that. It’s all part of the learning process, the growth that we have to do.

With that said…I have to go do some critiquing and editing.

Happy writing!

XO

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Advice time

I know…I’m still a new writer and I can’t have too much advice to give.

Wrong!

I have learned a bit from my rejections, my critique partner, reading…just life in general and I think that some of the things I have picked up can be helpful to others.

  1. Never stop. I do mean that literally. even when you are tired and you think that you just suck…keep going on. This applies to every aspect of life really, but especially in writing.
  2. Keep reading. reading keeps the mind sharp, keeps you up on any “trends” and in general keeps the juices flowing. How many times have you read a book, a story and thought “What if I did…instead?”
  3. Be kind and open. Parting of being a good writer is being open to new ideas, constructive criticism and things changing.
  4. Be voracious. You have to want it…more than anything, even sleep.
  5. Be selfish. There are going to be people who will not respect what you do. they will take advantage, disrespect or just not understand what you are trying to do. If you have to, carve out the time and turn everything off until you get that chapter finished.
  6. Be firm and polite.
  7. Ask questions…all the time. This keeps the juices flowing and the ideas fluid.
  8. Shoot for the moon but keep you eye on the ground.
  9. Be confident.
  10. Stay humble
  11. Be willing to sacrifice. IF this is your passion, nothing will stand in your way. There are of course things that are more important, but sometimes…writing will take 1st place. Be ready.
  12. In the same vein…be willing to give. Some people won’t get it and you have to be understand and giving with them.
  13. Keep distractions to a minimum. Facebook, Instagram, twitter, etc…At first they are fun, but then…days have gone by and you haven’t written a word.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Goals and aspirations…

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

Ernest Hemingway

There are some people who go into writing hoping for fame and fortune. They are under the impression that after the 1st book, there will be fanfare and adulation…people will be stopping them on the street begging for autographs.

Let’s get real for a moment…

Though that does happen to some, for the most part, it is hard work. It is literally bleeding on paper, hoping for something to flow that others will connect with, that others will love as much as you. It is putting little pieces of your soul paper, praying that others will take care of it the same way you did.

to be honest, when I first started writing, that is what I thought would happen. What can I say, I was young and ignorant. Now, my aspirations may be similar, but with a much deeper meaning. My first intention with my writing has been and will always be to showcase plus-sized heroine’s. There is nothing more upsetting than trying to get into a story and not being able to see yourself in the character. It’s enough to put you off reading…almost. There are some characters that are plus-sized, but they are few and far between, and they are often of the the “woe is me” mindset. I can not stand that! I know quite a few women who are proud of themselves, love the body they are in and show it off to the fullest. Those are the women that I want to capture, that I want to showcase to the world.

I also love to see interracial romances. Again, it’s hard to find stories like this and I feel that they deserve a place on the shelf. And not necessarily always full of racism either. Yes…it exists. I am well aware of it. But it’s not the only thing going on in relationships of mixed race. There are other issues that need and should be covered. We read to escape and while there needs to be realism…we do not need to always be hit over the head with it.

those are the real goals, the things that motivate me and keep me plodding along when it feels that my eyes are closing and my brain is empty. I still have dreams of being on the bestseller list and having a few lifetimes movies under my belt.

Okay…I have those dreams a lot.

I also dream about making an impact on someone’s life, helping them find love even it’s with themselves. I want to show women that having love is good, great even, but loving yourself is more important.

What are some of you goals, dreams, aspirations for writing?

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

1st Chapter

Today, I want to show you what I’ve been working on lately. This is going to be my next release. It’s a series I started and now in the home stretch of. It’s outside of the box for me…or at least how other’s think of me. Here’s an excerpt of my upcoming book. Let me know what you guys think.

Prologue

“I’m not so sure about this.” Jonathan sat on the edge of his king sized bed and began unbuttoning his dress shirt, pulling off his cufflinks as he shrugged the fabric off.

Nicole, his wife of 3 years, pouted, crawling across the bed to massage his shoulders. “Honey, it’ll be fun.” She bent forward over his shoulder, dark hair cascading down his chest in soft waves.

He doubted that statement very much, standing to shrug out of his shirt and move to their massive walk-in closet. “Inviting another person in our bed? Is fun?” He really did not want to have to make love to two women. One was more than enough.

“Babe…we need something. Lately things have been…monotonous.” A smile spread across her soft mouth as she reached out to the nightstand beside the bed, picking up a flat mirror, the three lines of white powder a stark contrast.

Jonathan bristled at the statement, shame mixed in as well. He didn’t like the feeling, an odd mix of emotion. “You know work has been hectic, with Chris starting to get noticed and my other clients as well.” As a talent manager, his dream was to help others achieve their dreams. True, it involved a lot of stress, but he knew there was more to the discontent running through his everyday life. He came back to sit on the bed, wondering at just what was the problem could be with him.

Nicole arched an eyebrow, small pat on the back. “I know honey. This…it could help though.”

He doubted it very much, but he wanted to make her happy. Anything to make up for his lackluster performance as a husband as of late. “So, are we going to ask one of your friends or –”

“Are you serious?” Nicole scoffed and her eyes went huge, a hand to her heart as she shuddered. “They would never! We’ll have to look around, ask questions.” She passed him the mirror with the white powder. “I want another man. I’m not licking pusssy.” She gagged and lay back against the plush stack of pillows on their bed, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

“Where would we even begin to look?” Jonathan took a small sniff, nowhere close to the line Nicole had just done. That was something else that bothered him, the near constant amount of drugs they were doing and had been doing in the recent months. Was it to cover something up, hide the truth? “The paper? Craigslist?” He stood, his pants falling to his ankles.

She shrugged and spread out on the bed, hair fanned out around her. “Probably...Definitely will need to do some background work.” She swept a hand down her trim belly, wiggling around on the bed a bit.

Jonathan watched as she writhed on the bed and tried to feel some attraction to the sight of his beautiful wife splayed out before him, but nothing stirred. He looked away before she could notice his dismay. Maybe someone else was the answer. He headed into the closet to put his pants in the hamper. “Well…I’ll start looking—”

“In the morning.” Nicole interrupted with a come-hither smile on her face. “Come to bed, I’m lonely.”

A silent gulp and Jonathan forced a smile, before walking back to the bed. “You want some company on that big bed?” He husked, stomach in knots. Lately, the desire to be intimate had turned into dread. Though if he were honest with himself, it had been longer than just recently. More like years, only intensifying in the past few months. The drugs were only making things worse, hidden emotions bubbling to the surface.

Nicole ran a hand up his arm, pulling him close. Her lips parted, wet and pink. “Come entertain me.”

Jonathan braced himself and let her pull him down on top of her.

~***~

Nicole wiped her hand on her linen pants, nerves jumping. Maybe she shouldn’t have done that last line of coke. She couldn’t believe they were about to do this. Jonathan had actually found a guy and investigated him. She didn’t know what had made her think of a threesome, she just knew that things were not right in her marriage, and hadn’t been for a long time. Their lovemaking, when they actually did make love, had become over the last several months become stilted and dry, a distance in Jonathan’s eyes that never seemed to fade. It was starting to affect everything else in their life. She didn’t think he was cheating, but she didn’t know what was wrong. Nicole hoped this did something, anything to get them back on track. She missed the easiness they used to have in bed and out of it.

At the sound of the doorbell ringing she jumped, hand nervously clutching the mantle, taking another sip of scotch. Things were about to get interesting.

The trembling in her arms made her pause, looking over at Jonathan’s back as he led the other man into their bedroom after a bit of stilted small talk in the living room. With hooded grey eyes and fine, straight, black hair, he reminded Nicole of a struggling artist, his build lithe and tall, and skin pale.

“So…what, I mean how do we start this?” she looked around the room as she moved to the foot of their bed, taking another long drink. Anything to settle her mind and still the trembling. Jonathan looked nervous too, face blank but eyes huge in his face.

Mitchell, their guest for the evening smiled, walking further into the room. “How about we sit on the bed…talk a bit?”

Trembling, Nicole perched on the edge, nervous and excited at the same time. She Looked up as Mitchell sat beside her, a gentle hand on her knee. He motioned for Jonathan to sit on the other side of her.

“You are very beautiful.” Mitchell looked deep into her eyes, breath soft on her face as he squeezed her knee.

She smiled, some of the nerves settling. “Thank you”

Nicole inhaled deeply, body aching in places she didn’t know could ache. Sitting up gingerly, she smoothed the hair from her face as she looked around. To say it had been amazing was an understatement. A glance to her left and she smiled, running her hands over the smooth, svelte back of Mitchell, sighing under her breath in satisfaction. Rustling at the foot of the bed caught her eye and she looked up frowning a bit, as she watched Jonathan rise from the bench, handsome face blank.

“I thought you were going to join in.” things had started off okay, but as Mitchell had gotten more into her, Jonathan had withdrawn, until it had just been her and the other man fucking on her marriage bed. Things were not working the way she’d thought.

With a shrug, Jonathan pulled on a grey t-shirt and sweats. “Maybe next time.” He started to walk past the bed

Nicole huffed, arms crossed. “Jonathan —” she reached out for him, but he jerked away from her touch. She frowned, unnerved by the action.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” He rushed by, eyes flicking over her and the body next to her before he shut the door with a loud click.

~***~

How had he let Mitchell talk him into going to a gay club? Jonathan shook his head, looking around nervously as he headed to the bar. After last week’s debacle of a threesome, he needed to get his head straight. The whole time, as he’d watched another man have sex with his wife, he’d been thinking of Mitchell and what he wanted those nimble hands to do to him. It had been the only way to get hard and then he’d finally been able to participate, much to Nicole’s happiness. It bothered him though, on a deeper level that it had taken a man to get him erect. It also bothered him that it had taken Mitchell grabbing his ass and running a finger up and down his crack to give him the best orgasm he’d had in a LONG time. Maybe that was why he’d agreed to meet the other man. To get answers.

A hand on his shoulder had him turning to gaze into a pair of smiling grey eyes, just as the bartender gave him his drink, an enticingly masculine mouth smiling at him.

“You came.” Mitchell seemed surprised, the hand still on his shoulder, sliding down to his elbow. He looked over at the bartender, pointing at the drink in Jonathan’s hand. A nod and he walked away.

Jonathan nodded, gripping the glass of vodka in his hand tight. “I’m not sure why, but yes.”

Being midweek, the bar wasn’t that crowed and the bartender came back quickly with Mitchell’s drink. A knowing glimmer in Mitchell’s eyes and he tilted his head to his left. “Why don’t we go someplace we can talk?” Handing over a twenty, Mitchell tilted his head towards the back of the club.

The music was kind of loud and he kept feeling eyes on him. With a nod, he followed the other man as he led the way to a quieter part of the club; a sunken sectional of plush, cushiony purple couches and dim lighting. Mitchell sat down and patted a spot next to him. Jonathan sunk down gingerly, nervous and unsure.

“How have you been?” Mitchell leaned back and crossed his legs

Jonathan shrugged and looked at his drink. “I would say ok. Working.”

Mitchell took a sip, eyes intent on Jonathan’s face. “How’s the wife?” he touched the tip of his tongue to the corner of his mouth.

Jonathan wondered at the questions and the inanity of them. “Why did you ask me here tonight? What’s the plan?” he looked the other man straight in his eyes, even while his stomach shivered in anticipation.

Mitchell reached out; set his glass on the low table in front of them. “I wanted to get you alone…see if you…needed to talk.”

“About what?” he knew he was being evasive, but he didn’t want to think too hard, not with Mitchell sitting so close to him.

A well-manicured eyebrow arched his way, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “Why it took me playing with your ass to get to you cum for starters.”

Jonathan flushed and yanked his gaze away. “I – I don’t know.”

Mitchell put a hand on his knee, his hand starting to rub it with slow, methodical strokes. “Jonathan…it’s okay. I get what you are going through. I’ve been there.”

Jonathan swung back to stare at him. “What…what are you talking about?”

A smile and the other man leaned in closer. “Let me show you.”

Jonathan’s heart started pounding. Mitchell was giving him an intent, hungry stare. One of the agile hands lifted, caressed his cheek, then slid to his neck. Jonathan shivered under the touch. He lifted his face to meet Mitchell’s mouth, descending onto his. A surprisingly gentle kiss; then the tip of Mitchell’s tongue ran between his lips, parted them on a burst and explored his mouth. Somehow, Jonathan’s arms had wound around the other’s man’s neck. He slid his tongue over Mitchells and he moaned quietly. The hand on his neck cupped the back of his head, while Mitchell’s other arm wrapped around his waist. Jonathan dragged his teeth over Mitchell’s lower lip, the other man hissing and his grip tightened. Both of Mitchell’s hands fell to Jonathan’s ass and pulled him into his lap, hard body to hard body, kneeling astride a man’s lap for the first time. a hardness pressed against his stomach and he groaned. The warm mouth was doing amazing things to his neck and ear now, licking and sucking. The strong hands, still on his ass, were squeezing and caressing him. The noise of the club dimmed, slid away as he sunk into the warm delicious feeling of Mitchell’s mouth back on his. This was what he’d been missing, what he’d been longing for.

The hand creeping into the back of his pants jerked him out his reverie and he wrenched his mouth from Mitchells. “What are you doing?”

Mitchell ran a hand over his back. “Just relax…no one can see us.”

Dubious, Jonathan looked around, unsettled to see several pairs of eyes watching them avidly. He pushed away, nearly falling to the floor as he struggled to get to his feet. “I need to be getting home.”

“Jonathan –”

He held up a hand, stopping the other man mid-sentence. “I need to go.” He turned and nearly knocking several men to the ground, rushed out the door.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Top Ten Books

It’s been a while, but let’s pretend that it hasn’t. I want to talk to you about books. Not just any books, but the top ten books on my list…so far.

These are books that if the zombie apocalypse happened, I would have to take them with me…or hunt them down in now abandoned libraries and books stores. These are the books that bring a smile to my face and I always go “oooohhh…I remember that book.”

  1. Little House on the Prairie – we’ve already talked about my love of this series so I won’t bore you again.
  2. Interracial Intimacies – Not so much fiction as it was a book that provided a great deal of insight into the relationships between black men and women and some backstory on why things are the way they are. I wouldn’t say all the hypotheses' are concrete, but they do open one’s mine to the workings and the why’s of some issues that seem to plague black relationships.
  3. Micaville's Letter to the Prince – it was required reading in my political science class and I have to say it left a huge impression on me about politics and how things work.
  4. Where the Wild Things Are – I loved this book. I did not see the movie, but the book still resonates with to this day. I have to find it so I can read it to my children
  5. Harry Potter series – just good fun with morals and principles thrown in. Loved them.
  6. Where the Sidewalk Ends – I need the 30th anniversary edition with the new additions. That is something I will definitely be putting on my child’s bookshelf.
  7. Any Dr. Seuss book…ever! They were all so colorful and full of stories and parables that even now, I can think of the lessons that I learned from them.
  8. Wishes by Jude Deveraux– my first book with a plus sized heroine. I LOVED THIS BOOK! I read it so much that the spine broke and I had to tape the pages back in. This was the start of my desire to write stories that did not fit the mold. Heroine’s that weren’t “standard”. The end did leave a bit to be desired, but the concept was just…magic for me.
  9. The Donovan Series by nora roberts – loved this series. It was also an introduction to the art of two POV’s going on at the same time. Even now I wonder why more people don’t do it. I as a reader really want to see what is going on in the other person’s head. Is that weird?
  10. Last but not least…Ina Garten. I’m serious. I love her cookbooks. They read like books and anytime I get one, I have to sit down and read through it. Of course I mark the stuff I want to try, but the writing style of these books is just…I’m in love.

So…now to you. What are some books you just have to have no matter what? Let me know in the comments.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Getting over the hump

You know the feeling….the blank computer or page in front of you…the pen in hand…some good tunes in the background. You hand it hovring over the keyboard or paper…you’re excited. The blood is pumping and you just know it’s going to be good.

2 hours later…

funny-pictures-cat-has-writers-block

Yea…I get that too. Sometimes, I just stare at the ceiling, fingers poised over the keyboard till my wrists cramp up and I take a nap. During the nap of course, I get all kinds of ideas but then when I have to put them to paper…ugh

Let’s discuss how to combat this dreaded issue…or at least how I go about it.

  1. I like to reread the story that I’m working on. Yesssss…the one that is giving me the writer’s block. Sometimes, I can lose sight of where I’m going in the story, what I’m trying to achieve. I go back through to see where I was going, what the mood was or where the characters are at in their growth. A good chunk of the time, it does get my juices flowing again. And if not…I can get some editing in while I wait.
  2. I like to read fan fiction (dodges a few tomatoes). Seriously, good fan fiction is some good stuff and can get the juices flowing again. It give your mind a chance to shut off and reboot, which can help in jumping the hurdle of finding something to write.
  3. Music…just music. It helps relax the muscles, soothe the soul and calm the spirit.
  4. I have a dog and I like to play with her during these times. Sometimes, we talk. Or I talk to her and she just looks at me like “I have no idea what you are talking about.” I bounce ideas off her, I chase her a bit and in that time, my mind unwinds and loosens it grip on my creativity. At least enough to get another paragraph in.
  5. I like to edit my other stories. Usually these are stories that I’ve finished and need to be critiqued. I will go through them and edit, all the while my other story is in the back of my mind, stewing.
  6. Last but not least…I do use some social media. Again, this is a time to unwind. What I may do is use this opportunity to promote my blog or a story that I’ve finished…perhaps see what the trends are in the book world. Other times, I just goof off and give the brain a rest. You can push yourself too far and maybe the writer’s block is there for a reason.

 

Now that we have talked about my strategies… what are some of yours? I would be very interested in what works for you. Leave me a comment.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Making an impact

Have you ever read a book so good that it stays with you for not just weeks or months, but years and decades? And each time you open the book or even just see the cover, you are taken back to that moment when you first read the book and your whole life changed?

Let’s talk about mine for a second.

There is one book…okay one of a just a few…that changed my life. It stuck with me and even today, I can think back to the first time I cracked it open, how excited I got to read it, how just looking at it made me feel happy and alive.

Little House on the Prairie

Don’t laugh…I’m being completely serious here. The whole series really started me on my journey of a love of reading and books and just…everything.

The first thing that stuck me about the entire series is the closeness of the family unit. I liked that aspect of it. It reminded me of my own family, even though at the time we were far apart, we were still a unit and deeply loyal to one another.

I also liked the wholesomeness about the whole series. Of course, at the time I think I was like 8 or 9, but still. No blood and guts. just day to day living and struggle. Never giving up and always taking the high road, even when you wanted to knock someone out. I liked it and still do.

Laura was definitely my favorite character. Of course, the books were mostly centered around her, but still. I liked her independence, her love of family, her pluckiness *LOL* I wanted to be her in a sense. Still do at times.

Reading the books was vastly different from watching the TV series and honestly…this is when my dislike of movie and TV adaptations of books started. You can not imagine the intense disappointment I felt when things did not happen like they did in the book, even if it was impossible. Just don’t do it then! Ugh…*deep breath* Let it go Desiree, let it go.

This series in part, definitely had a hand in shaping how I thought the world should work. That spark of independence, that wonder in adventure and devotion to family. Along with my family and how I was raised, the books unquestionably had a part in making me who I am today.

With all that being said, I ask you:

What book/books had an impact on your life? Is there a book out there that you take with you if the zombies attacked?

Let’s talk about them.